Paper Lilies: Behind the Scenes
by Formidable Rain
Summary: Meet Formidable Rain! Interact with the cast! Have your questions answered! Why can't Rose give directions? Where is Al? How does Ed feel about this whole servant nonsense? Exactly what is Rain doing while she ISN'T updating Paper Lilies? Find out here!
1. Omake

_This is not an OMAKE_

Formidable Rain, the author of Paper Lilies, is an average-looking girl with glasses, babyish cheeks, and long red hair. She has a fluffy orange cat named Twinkle, and just recently turned 18 years old. Her favorite color is purple. She loves ice cream.

"Hello! Welcome to Rain's Behind The Scenes story! Thank you very much for clicking, and if you have not yet read my story _Paper Lilies,_ I sincerely recommend you do so if you intend to continue reading the Behind The Scenes fic." says Formidable Rain with a smile.

Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, steps up next to Rain, looking bored out of his mind. "Formidable Rain does not claim to own any part of the series that is _Fullmetal Alchemist_ by Hiromu Arakawa. Therefore, she does not own the original plot, ideas _drawn_ from the original plot, or me." At this, Ed frowns darkly. "But since she's the self-proclaimed _author,_ apparently she can do whatever the f*bleep* she wants."

Rain stands to the left of him, holding a black box with a red button in her hand.

Ed seems baffled by something. "What the h*bleep* was that?!" He jumps, startled. "There it was again!"

Rain grins at him. "In order to keep the Behind The Scenes fic K+, I've decided to use this censor button." She holds the red button up for his inspection proudly. "I hope to install the _"black box" _feature as well, but the upgrade doesn't come out for a while."

Ed looks disturbed, and shields himself with his elbow while he readies to run away at a moment's notice. "Wh-What the heck is _that?"_ he asks as if he doesn't really want to know the answer.

"Oh, you'll find out!" Rain waves it off dismissively.

Winry steps to Ed's side – "Where the heck did _you_ come from?!" – and smiles. "If you still haven't read _Paper Lilies _by Rain, let me just say you're likely to enjoy it."

Rain smiles and blushes at the flattery. "Oh, stop you!"

Winry continues as if the author had not spoken. "It is a story set in Victorian England in which Ed is kidnapped and sold into slavery along with his brother, Alphonse."

"Where the f*bleep* did he go, by the way?" STOMP. "Ow!"

Winry, unperturbed, goes on. "And I am in the story as well, as a young lady in Victorian society."

Rain suddenly scurries away from Winry and Ed (who is nursing his sore human foot), and whispers conspiringly where they can't hear her. "It's also an EdxWinry pairing fic."

As Rain returns, Ed is staring at her suspiciously as Winry continues to smile, unaffected. Rain only grins sort of evilly and picks up where Winry left off. "As for the Behind The Scenes, I will show how I got ideas for the story, things I went through to write the story, and answer questions I get in reviews here, or on Paper Lilies. And, let me just say, that the posting of this is to commemorate the publishing date of the first chapter of Paper Lilies, exactly one year ago today: September 27th!"

Ed snorts in amusement. "Seems kinda narcissistic if you ask me..."

Rain turns on Ed with fire in her eyes. "What!" She bellows. The author jumps over and grabs Ed's cheeks forcefully, pulling on them roughly as he holds his hands up in surrender. "You think I'm full of myself?! So what if this fic is about me, I have a whole fic about _you!"_ Her incessant cheek-pulling is leaving red marks. "Heck, there are _tons_ of fics about you! So shut it!"

Ed is left in a corner, nursing his sore, bruised cheeks unhappily. Winry and Rain are seen behind him, their backs turned to him as he whimpers.

"So," comes Rain's voice. "Should be wrap it up?"

Winry nods, still unaffected by this whole debacle. She seems to have noticed that she is the favored child among the current character cast, and intends to keep it that way.

"Alright." Our view centers on Rain again, Winry off to the side (still smiling), and Ed hunched over in the background. Rain grins and offers a peace sign. "That'll be it for this chapter! Please submit questions you have about me, Paper Lilies, or the Behind The Scenes in reviews or Private Messages. Please come again!"

The author then reaches into her pocket and takes out a purple dry erase marker, and writes seemingly in the thin air:

"Much love,

Rain"

_o__ma__ke: n; means "extra" or "bonus" in Japanese_

_Omake often include comedy sketches where the characters behave out of character, break the __fourth wall__, or subtly address opinions of the fandom known to the writers._


	2. Sandwiches and Corsets

_The first couple of chapters went a bit like this._

* * *

Rain sat in front of a computer, obviously not doing what she was supposed to be doing. It was late September of 2011, and things were still warm and dry in her neck of the woods, despite the supposed lateness of the season. That's global warming for you.

Now, Rain had recently finished the first Fullmetal Alchemist series and was soon to be working on Brotherhood. She had also been watching the new Sherlock Holmes film, and had finished the Kuroshitsuji anime not long ago...

And so, a muse came along and kicked her in the ask, and she started writing a cruddy little fic. It really did start off badly; her word choice and phrasing was bad, and nothing about it flowed well. But it was an idea, and she stuck with it.

"Alright... English accents... English accents... Shoot.

"Okay... Winry. Introducing Winry. Fun stuff...

"The Rockbell Manor... hello, reoccurring phrase. You will come up again.

"Aaand, we're killing the uncle... He has no name... Screw it..."

And so the first three chapters were completed, and the first two posted immediately by an eager Formidable Rain. Even though they totally sucked.

* * *

_Urey Rockbell seems a bit like Maes Hughes_

* * *

Rain ponders this early on. "Well, Winry's parents have to be alive or none of this will work... So I'll pretty much have to make up their personalities from scratch..." She does a little research, analyzes what little screen time the two of them have, and portrays them as so.

Ed frowns thoughtfully. "You know, Urey _is _a bit like Hughes, and Sara Rockbell is a bit like Gracia Hughes."

The author glowers at the alchemist, glaring him into silence.

* * *

_Winry doesn't wear a corset_

* * *

Winry frowns. "What's a corset?"

Rain doesn't even glance up from her computer, and answers her while staring at the screen. "It's like underwear in Victorian times. Women wear it under their dresses, but over their shifts... I think. It has laces in the back that were yanked _really_ tight to make women look like they had tiny waists and wide hips."

Winry tilts her head. "So why don't I wear one in the story?"

Rain shrugs. "It was an act of kindness. I decided that you were too sickly to wear it, since it tended to destroy women's rib cages and move their internal organs around, while also making it near impossible to breathe." She clicks away on her computer, the screen glowing on her face.

Winry raises her eyebrows. "O-kay. Thanks for that."

Rain still doesn't look up. "Not a problem."

* * *

_Rain fails yet again_

* * *

Ed lounges in a chair, leaning back on the two legs. "So, Rain..." He begins with a taunting edge to his voice.

Rain stiffens, having a feeling that this is going nowhere good. "...What?" she spits the word reproachfully, daring him to make fun of her.

Ed only grins, unaffected. "So right now... the fic is on, oh, chapter 13 or so?"

Rain's shoulders tense. "Yeah..."

Ed frowns mockingly. "And didn't you start it around last September or so?"

Rain is getting tired of the 'or so's he keeps dropping. "Yeah..."

Ed takes up a mockingly thoughtful look as he puts a finger to his chin and stares up at the ceiling. "So... even after 13 chapters, you haven't gotten to Christmas time yet? Didn't you say that you would have the Christmas party be around Christmas time... last year?"

Rain clenches her teeth in fury, reaches behind Winry (who was conveniently standing next to her this entire time), pulls out a large wrench at flings it with deadly aim at Ed's forehead. The unsuspecting alchemist is thrown backwards, tipping his chair over and falls unceremoniously to the floor. A lump forms on his forehead as he twitches on the ground, momentarily stunned.

Winry stares at Rain's clenched fist in confusion as the author seethes and burns with rage. "Where the heck did you get that? ...I don't have any pockets, you know." She asks idly.

Rain just growls and goes back to fixing herself a sandwich with anger still searing through her.


	3. Procrastinating

_Izumi-sensei is coming back_

* * *

Izumi Curtis, a woman of frightening strength and surprisingly old age – "Excuse me?!" – crosses her arms over her chest. Her large _large LARGE _husband stands at her shoulder, towering over her. Izumi narrows her eyes at our author – "Eep!" – and demands, "Why the h*beep* did I get so little page time?!"

Rain and her tiny 5' 4" self backs into a corner, raising her palms in submission. "Y-You'll get more page time soon! Y-You have a much bigger part than you think! I swear!" Rain sweats under the scary lady's cold glare.

Teacher doesn't seem too terribly convinced. "I'll believe that when I – UGH!" Blood spills from her mouth, pooling on the floor like a waterfall.

Sig pales and frets over his wife as she vomits alarming quantities of blood.

Rain escapes with her life.

* * *

_Winry's ponytail defies reality_

* * *

Winry notices Rain sitting at her computer again, this time with her long red hair in a ponytail. Winry tilts her head confusedly, inspecting the hair with curiosity. When the author's hair is left down, it comes to about her waist. But when it's up, it barely brushes her shoulders. "How come your hair looks shorter when it's up in a ponytail?"

At this, Rain's shoulders tense and her clicking on the computer ceases. The silence is loaded with tension.

"That's because..." Rain's voice is suddenly deeper with anger. "_My_ hair doesn't conflict with logic. _Normal_ people's hair looks shorter than it actually is when it's pulled up." The author turns slightly to glare over her shoulder at the blond character. "_Your_ hair, however, comes down to practically your _hips_ whether it's _up_ or _down._"

There is a beat of silence as Rain glares hatefully over her shoulder at Winry who stares back calmly.

"There were a lot of italics in that explanation." States Winry.

* * *

_Where is everyone?_

* * *

Mustang appears with his posse: Hawkeye, Havoc, Breda, Falman and Fuery. "Hey, Formidable..." Mustang calls gruffly.

Rain glances up from her sketchbook. "Did you just say 'Formidable' because it sounds like 'Fullmetal'?"

Mustang ignores her question. "Why the heck haven't we shown up yet?"

Rain goes back to her sketching. "Because I don't need you yet."

May Chang pops up, Xiao-Mei on her shoulder. "And what about me?!" She screeches. "You mentioned me in passing! When am I gonna show up?!"

A vein appears on Rain's forehead. "Just be patient."

Envy, Lust, and Gluttony pop up as well. "And us? We're important." Demands Envy in his crackling voice.

Another vein. "I don't need you three."

Greed shows up, frowning with jagged teeth. "Oh! I suppose you don't need me either!" he complains, offended.

Rain glances up at him over her sketchbook. "You've already had page time."

Greed looks confused, as if he'd forgotten. "I did?"

Rain looks back at her sketchbook. "Yep. Chapter one, in fact."

Ling shows up with Lan Fan. "Well? What about me?!"

Rain's had just about enough. "Look, you'll just have to – " she trails off, looking at Ling.

He blinks.

"Actually... I forgot about you." states Rain bluntly.

Ling cries.


End file.
